Integrity & Discernment

Yesterday evening I went to the third workshop in the Energy Management for Healers and Empaths series. Two of the primary topics of discussion were Integrity and Discernment.

Imagine yourself walking down the street. Let’s pick a specific one, say Hawthorne for those of you in Portland, 13th for those of you in Eugene. It’s a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon and people are walking up and down the sidewalks, going into coffee shops, restaurants, all doing their thing. You walk by someone who for all intents and purposes looks no different than anyone else but something calls your attention. You take a closer look and are hit with a sudden overwhelming flood of emotions, smells, visions, sounds. They’re in danger--well, they’re not in immediate danger but they will be. You stop walking, turn around, and watch their gate as they move away and you’re sure of it. Yes, sometime in the next year, maybe two, they’ll be date raped. Worse, they’ll accept it as normal, they’ll continue to let men take advantage of them over and over again for the attention and everything inside of you wants to run up to them, hug them, and tell them you love them and they have worth.

You hold back a tear before continuing on your way.

As an intuitive I run into situations like this nearly every week, certainly almost anytime I surround myself with large numbers of strangers. When you consider that one out of every three women will be sexually abused in her lifetime, when just as many men will be emotionally or physically abused, not to mention the number of people with PTSD from war, traffic accidents, childhood traumas, and the rest--the world is populated by people who are hurting and who will, unfortunately, find themselves hurt again--and I get to see it.

Integrity has several meanings and levels. For the intents and purposes of this entry I want to discuss the integrity necessary to live with a heightened awareness.

When I see something like this I always have to make a decision: do I act or do I allow events to play out?

When I was young I was more apt to jump in and do something. For instance, one spring break I was at my parent’s house in Prineville, Oregon when I had a vision that the person I was in love with but who wanted nothing to do with me was going to be taken advantage of and possibly abused by her partner. I didn’t know the specifics, only that the danger was imminent and in a dream he introduced himself to me. So I borrowed my parent’s car, drove all the way to Eugene that very next day, knocked on her door, and told her she was in danger. She was cynical which I’d expected but that quickly ended when I said his name, something I had no way of knowing. Once I'd had my say I went home.

Did it change anything? I don't know, but months later (or certainly what felt like months) she slipped an envelope under my door. She said she was sorry and wanted to make things right. And it meant the world to me.

Now, though, I’m not terribly likely to do something like that, even for those I’m close to. The first reason is simply that most of the time people don’t listen; I could tell someone there’s a gun pointed at their head and they’ll smile, say thanks, and next time you see them they’ll have a hole in their head. There’s a certain futility to it, if you ask me. In terms of Integrity, though, there is the question as to whether or not I have the right to interfere in another’s life, to share what I know, or more importantly, to make them aware that I know intimate details of their lives I "should" have absolutely no way of knowing.

I know of a divorced couple, for instance. They once loved each other very much but now they’re incredibly distant. And yet though they’ve never shared the details of their story with me, I know the rhythm and the way that brought them together and eventually apart. I see it just as I see my hands and the keyboard in front of me. And I see how, even years later, it negatively effects everyone around them.

Do I say something? Do I tell them? Do I tell others?

To live a life of integrity I must often choose silence. I must choose not to share the things I know about the lives of others. I have to choose even when I see the destruction, even when I see a better way, even when I see the possibility--no, the absolute certainty--of perfect love and happiness in their lives and the lives of everyone they touch.

The second part of the equation, which I have already been discussing at some length, is Discernment. Do I speak up? When do I speak up? How much do I share? What do I share?

I am constantly asking myself these questions, especially where those I love and care for are concerned. I can’t even begin to explain how difficult it is. I see...I see people capable of happiness, of living amazing lives well above their wildest expectations, and yet they choose the comfort of what they know even if it will mean... I have been able to see decades into the future with an accuracy that even stuns myself...

It’s hard keeping my mouth shut. You have no idea how hard it is...

I have kept quiet about one thing over the years, the physical and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of someone I cared for, one who took advantage of me and treated me like a dog. I have talked about it from time to time but now I’ve finally reached a point of healing where I can express the absolute anger I have for so long kept down. The irony is in doing this many would say I don’t have much Integrity, that I haven’t Discerned a goddamn thing, but then until you’ve had someone you love regularly insult and put you down, until you experience them pushing, shoving, and hitting you, and forgiving and believing them anyway, there’s no way you can possibly understand the amount of patience and love it takes to believe in someone like that, and how the scars can and sometimes do last a lifetime (if not more, according to some).

Often, when I’m working on the house, I write letters. It’s something I’ve done since I lived in Eugene. Back then I used to write farewell letters in the backs of closets whenever I was moving. Now I write them on or inside walls I’m painting over, under shingles I’m nailing down, and so on. The other day I finally cut out the damage to a wall in my entertainment room that was caused the night--the first time she ever hit me. It’s remained there since, a physical representation of the memory caught in time, caught in drywall. Cutting it out was a surgery, a painful one done without anesthetic. Today I finally repaired it but before I did so I wrote these biting words, the Truth that for so long has needed to be expressed:



Sometimes Integrity means keeping your mouth shut...and sometimes, after years and years of trauma it means finally expressing the justified anger you truly have every right to feel.

My challenge for you today is to ask yourself what you know of others and how you decide when to share certain aspects about their personal lives. Do you do so with Integrity? How do you Discern what is right and wrong to share? And what do you do those times you’ve crossed that line?

Goodnight,



Aslynn S. Meyers
Resident Psychic Empath and Energetic Worker in Training